| All Nighters |
[Monday
December 18th, 2006 at 10:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
Well then. Classes are officially over for the semester! Huzzah!
Jesus, Thursday night was rough. Well for one I was closing and as the holidays creep closer, the bitchyness of people comes out. So it was a meh kind of night to be working. That and the thought of my written final for my OS class was weighing on my mind. Well more than half the class was already failing, me included but I was trying to get my stuff in and what not. I HAD to pass this final if I was gonna get my ass out of the flunking gutter.
Not only that but I had to finish putting together my AM/FM radio! >_< Which was no easy feat considering I had to solder a fuckton of components. And a lot of them aren't big. Friggin thing came with the tiniest capacitors I had ever seen. >_>
So I had to find a way to keep myself awake. Solution? I chugged down a can of Amp Big Rig (equals 3 servings of a regular Amp) and with Bill's help and suggestion some herbal suppliments. With both of those in my system I was up a total of 23+ hours. I could have gone for 24 but I had forced myself to take a nap to refresh my mind.
So yeah, took my exam and turned in my finish radio. My radio was awesome. He barely needed to fix or tweak anything ^_^. I'm so proud of myself! So with that done my electronics grade for the semester was a C. Yay passing! As for the exam, I passed with almost a C but hey, it's passing. And Ms. Dunan let me stay up until 4PM trying to finish labs in order to secure me a C for the semester. Whew.
That night Dan took me, Nick and his girlfriend out to Little Village. I wasn't in the mood to be honest to go out and have a good time with good food. I was already feeling burned from the all nighter, twitchy from the stress and I just knew that I wasn't gonna be good company so I was against me going. And I was right. I was not good company. Due to lack of sleep I was either a) Falling asleep at the dinner table or b) Being dry, bitchy and/or sarcastic.
*sigh* I dunno. Just....meh. The ride home was...well how it made me felt certainly capped off the evening well.
This past weekend had me working till midnight thirty. So yeah fun. At least it was with good company and whatnot. Blessing, Alan, Tina, Julia. Yay family.
Apparently I'm getting presents early this year. I got Shae's gifts which I feel bad because I can't send anything back till I get paid and whatnot. >_> She got me vol 1-4 of Ls Esperanza or however the hell you spell it. *squee* Yaoi manga! *pounce* Daisuki!
And then yesterday Mom and Dad came home with a fuckton of random stuffs. A digital camera for my Tita Tess, a new DVD burner camcorder, a keyboard (wtf), clothes and other random stuffs. All because she used her scratchcard and opened a Star Card account in hers, my Dad's and my name which I thought was funny seeing as how I already have one. >_>
Well today's my day off from both jobs so I'm gonna go out and enjoy myself. Get myself a fruppaccino or something... yeah...
|
|
| Ninja Ninja Ninja |
[Wednesday
December 13th, 2006 at 9:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 curious |
] |
I don't know why but I've been saying "ninja" a lot lately..... O_o?
First thing's first.
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY MY SHAE SAMA!!!!!!
^_^ So yeah. w00t!
December just didn't want to be my month but you know what? It's almost done. I'm almost free. I think I'm gonna be alright.
I find myself weirdly calm. I mean I still have my normal stresses. Work. School. Grades. Love. Whatnot. But it just feels like this year is gonna be different. Things are gonna change and not just because I'll be 21.
For one, I'm going back to a major I want to do. CENT will be out of my life and I'll be back to CA. No more capacitors, routers and hubs. No more Linux user profiles or groups to configure. Huzzah! One less mega stress outta my life. I need to get back to drawing. Even if it's for logos and not for animations, It's something better. And someday I'll upgrade to what I truly want to do.
With the holiday season over, I'll be able to breathe and get back to a less stressful and demanding schedule. Also less dumb newbies. We really struck out this year with them. >_> And hopefully by the end of the month Beverly (store manager) can get the twig from her bum to come out and for her to leave our dept alone. What idiot decides to set up a whole dept make-over plan-o-gram on a WEEKEND AND DURING THE X-MAS RUSH?!!!!
*sigh*
So yeah.
With me being 21 I'm going to be staying out longer and not caring whether or not my folks approve. As long as I'm not out getting high, drugged, drunk, or having unprotected sex *notices the glares she's getting* or any sex for that matter, I don't see why they have a problem. I know my Dad's gonna let up. I mean he flat out told my mom during one of her nag/scold/lecture sessions that once I turn 21 I don't have to listen to a word she says. So um..yay.
I was thinking of moving out this coming year. Now before any of you guys start jumping on me and 'persuading' me to go where you're at, lemme just say I'm sorry. If I'm gonna move out, I wanna try it out here first. Granted it sucks that it's Hawaii, land of you-need-4-jobs-to-have-a-life. But if I can't make it on my own I'd still have my folks nearby for help. I know that's kinda depleting the purpose of trying to make it out on my own but I'm sorry if knowing I have family here willing to take me in no matter what (with a mother as clingy as mine she'd take me in) is a perk.
I don't know how to explain this but Hawaii is just my home. It's where I was born and more than likely it's where I'll die. From the tradewinds to the beaches. From the beautiful mountains of the windward side to the urban mass that is Waikiki and its nightlife. I know this place. I know where to go and where not to. I still find new things and places everyday here. I know the weather. My body knows this place. I feel out of place anywhere else.
I mean Colorado was awesome once I got used to it but it still left me empty on a level. Now I'm not saying I'll never leave the island. I will, but not now. Not when I feel I haven't matured enough for it. If I can make it on my own, I know I've matured enough to continue my life elsewhere.
Who knows where I'll end up then? Staying up and fangirling alongside of friends like Shae and Cassie? Chowing down cheesesteaks and talking culture with Dan? Snowboarding with Jay? Hitting the Smithsonian every week with Andre? I don't know yet. And I want the time to mature and decide for myself before jumping headfirst into something that could end up not catching me.
So yeah. Guess that was my lil rant or what not.
Moving on!
I'm without internet in my room for a lil while longer. Until I can find the damn software that came with the router so I can reinstall it >_> Blargh. I even need to reinstall WoW. Well to be honest, that's not such a big deal as me not being able to surf the net at 3 in the morning. >_>
I need to decided where I'm gonna have my birthday and who to invite with me. Hmm.
I'm working on getting X-Mas and B-Day presents to peeps. It may take a bit seeing as I'm broke as hell from paying tuition. *sigh* I miss the days of high school's free education. Little tweeners don't know how good they have it >_<*
Oooh! And Jay's coming back in mid January. So yay! He can make it to my birthday. Woot!!!
Okay, I need to grab a shower and get some rest. Tomorrow I need to finish my Cisco exam and TONS of labs for my OS class as well as build an AM/FM radio. Yay me ^_^;;;
PROCRASTINATION AND WORK ROCK!!!
|
|
| BreakDown |
[Monday
December 4th, 2006 at 8:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
Well Sunday sure as hell capped off the perfect work weekend. I'm barely out of the car when Julia and one of the gals from audio make their way to the Smoke Pit and stop me. Both tell me that I should just get back in the car and call in sick. The one gal said she wanted to shake a customer just so that she could get arrested and away from the NEX.
I could understand their pain when I got up to the sales floor. The NEX was insane! Not as bad as Black Friday mind you but it was Military Payday AND last day for our scratch card promo. So the place was packed and sad to say packed with the most cranky, pissy, bitchy and impatient people ever to walk the earth.
Our shelves were bare in many places and everyone was scrambling to fill them with anything we could bring down downstairs. Rolling racks filled with boxes, our golf green overflowing with bulk stack items, and us being sold out of several of the in demand toys.
And of course we had the Vita-Mix demo people there, drawing a big crowd onto our turf making things even more congested. Trying to price items was difficult as hell because our merch was constantly moving and we only have ONE price gun and printer to 8 associates. With constant runs to go-backs, price checks and stock checks, I got my running around in for the day. Then at the end of the night, COES, our stock check program went down so we had to use old school Ritcher to see if we had things in.
Now, I know how to use the program because when I first started 2 years ago I was taught on this system but I do not have a logon account to get into it. Adam always left his logon info on the door to out cabinet so I tried to use it and I just couldn't get it to work.
And I snapped.
I just started banging my fists on the keyboard and almost burst our screaming and crying.
I'm sorry but I've kept this stuff inside me too much. All the crap from the customers, my thankless job, the stress with school alongside of it...I just snapped.
Needless to say I scared the customer away. >_>
But whatever.
I have my 3rd E-Funds Exam in an hour which I expect to bomb so yeah...
Heh, guess I'm not as sane as I thought I was. Your arguement may be right. I may be a bit psychotic. Guess stress is my downfall.
|
|
| Fa La La La La La Fucking La |
[Saturday
December 2nd, 2006 at 11:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
indescribable |
] |
You know, there are just some days I'm just amazed that I haven't gone crazy.
In some way I think I am.
I mean I have finals and final grades in a couple of weeks and to be honest, I'm freaked out. But I'm so tired that it almost doesn't phase me as badly as it should. Kinda scares me actually.
Also tution payments are due as well and I really am freaked but again, too tired to even care anymore.
I think I actually burned myself out and didn't even know it.
Work's just been....well you would think what with it being the holiday season and all that people would shut up about the commercialism that the holiday has become and maybe care about goodwill towards men.
But I guess that died out.
Now all I see and deal with are people who wish to place the blame of a shitty christmas on me just because I couldn't give them a Tickle-Me-Elmo, a Robosapien or whatever hell else toy their screaming child is pining over. Who scorn me just because not every single item in the dept is priced correctly. Who just see me as an obstacle in the way of their cart and their shopping. Who can clearly see me trying to tidy and organize yet stick some random piece of merchandise they had second thoughts about on my shelves.
I hate people.
I hate retail.
Throughout the day I could feel my body starting to slowly shut itself down. By closing I found myself unable to focus and laughing and crying at the exact same time.
*sigh* I survived one Christmas....but that wasn't with me in the classes that I'm in, with the hectic schedule I have.
I'm trying to tough this one out...but I'm kinda losing motivation.
I'm tired from being overworked.
I'm saddened from leaving friends.
I'm even more saddened by the fact that I haven't seen ANY of my friends because of my schedule.
And I'm really frowny over the fact that tuition payment is gonna suck all my money away and I won't have anything to give them.
I know I just said that Christmas shouldn't be commercialized, but I think everyone should at least get a lil something for X-Mas. Doesn't have to be uber fuck-off or anything like that. Just something to remind them that they are loved and thought of.
God...
I'm just so tired. I'm surprised I could even string together enough coherent thoughts to make this entry as emo or whatever as it was.
I swear, more and more Florida, Italy, Seattle and Philly are looking appealing if not downright sexy everyday...
I really wish I was 21 already. So I could just get drunk off my ass and not give a fuck. Granted, I know that's not a good reason why to drink but it's not like I'd do it everyday. Goodness.
I need to try and grab some sleep. I have birds and fish to care for before another 8 hours of hell at the NEX. I KNOW it's gonna suc hardcore. Why? Because it's the last day to use Scratch Cards and people being the fucking dumbasses that they are will wait till the last fucking minute to do their shopping!!! >_<
I swear...I'm gonna die from a stress related issue before I'm even 25.
|
|
| ~ Updates of Sun & Rain ~ |
[Friday
November 3rd, 2006 at 9:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
Well it's certainly been a while since I've last updates but then again I had so much stuff going on that it's not even funny. >_> I am seriously hatin' on school and work. Both need to die horrible, painful deaths.
But anyhoo, onto Halloween! How was everyone's Halloween? I ended up dressing up as a pirate and wore it to class. Not only am I the only girl in that class, apparently I'm the only person as well to be in the holiday spirit. >_<* But it was kinda funny. Got texted nd chatted with P Kun which was fun. Haven't gotten the chance to talk to him in a while. Sent him an email with what's been happening because I didn't feel comfortable saying some of the stuff...
Anyhoo, he's got a new job at a warehouse and he's driving now. LOL Picturing him driving is funny. And him driving a forklift at work even amuses me more. In a good way, not the making fun of way.
Let's see... I didn't have work at either place which was a good and bad thing. Good because, well no work. Bad because the one day I can dress crazy at the NEX, I'm not working there >_>. Blargh!
Let's see....went attempted to Trick-Or-Treat at the mall with Dan. Note I said attempted because not only was I kinda getting looks for trick-or-treating as old as I am but because I'm shy and always will be when it comes to asking for things and that includes candy. LOL. But it was fun. We stopped by See's twice for samples. XD
Afterwards I went over to Julia's. Her kids had already finished trick-or-treating so I just ended up hanging at the house and watching Monster House while her dogs licked me and begged to me petted. ^_^ They're cuties. And her oldest son Trevor amuses the hell out of me. Not only was he a pimp for Halloween but when he was leaving the house to walk one of his friends home he came back in, said "Almost forgot to bring protection" and just walked out. LOL
Julia: What am I going to do with him? I'm gonna be a grandmother at 34.
So yeah. Fun night even though I only got to stay out till 9PM. >_> Why'd Halloween have to fall on a weekday. Grr. Damn school nights.
So yeah. Amy's gone from Hot Topic which makes me the VERY VERY VERY sad. *wibbles* And Sheryl's gone too. I hope her wedding and everything goes okay. So now it's down to Rhonda and Ikaika. And if Ikaika goes anywhere, I'm done. I'm sorry but the reason I decided to stay on even with the higher paying NEX job in the bag is because of the people.
Sure 40% off is nice but to be honest, most of what I buy is from the clearance rack and I can still get good deals on those if I didn't work there. I worked there because I would people who understood if not contributed to my madness. *sigh* And just yesterday I heard that Brent, our DM is going to the mainland!!! O_O So now it's like of the 4 bosses who interviewed me for hire, only 1 is left and she's at Windward! >_>. *cry*
Merrrghff!
.....Well at least today it's sunny and for some reason I'm in a good mood. I mean yesterday sucked ass. Morning started off with my Mom nagging me and me being rawrgh at her back. I'm sorry but when I'm in the bathroom, just woken up, half blind, sitting there doing my business, last thing I need is nagging.
Besides that it was pouring rain! So much that when I went to my bus stop outside my campus, there was no sidewalk. I was looking at 6 inches of water. O_o So when my bus got there, I tried to step on the exposed roots of the trees next to it, but I still ended up dunking one foot into the water >_<.
Then at work it was just awkward. I'm not used to having so many people working at one time. I mean granted we get things done earlier but it seems like all the jobs get done and there's nothing left to do....and that sucks...when you're closing and you've got 2 hours left in a shift on a slow night to do nothing >_>. But the newbies do amuse me. Our only boy, Anthony is just the cutest thing! He's so friggin shy that it's funny! Fran had him follow her all day to train him. ^_^
Came home and tried to study for my Operating Systems exam and that didn't go so well. I tried. Got some of my review done and rest done at 5 this morning but still. I was feeling down.
But after getting on my bus, I just felt better. The bus maybe had 8 people total in it and it was one of the accordion tourists buses so there was a lot of room to stretch out. I just stared out my window and got waved to and waved back to people passing by which amused me. And of course the sun. Bright and shiny. Almost as if yesterday's rain never happened. ^_^
Then when I got to class I saw I wasn't the only one having issues with the test. So we all got together and had Tom tutor us and answer questions. We tried to get the exam postponed to Monday but to no avail. But it turns out the test, which I thought was just going to me short answer and essay had a shit ton of T/F and multiple choice which made me much in the happy ^_^ And what topped it off was that she was gonna add this score to that of our hands on and take the average. So I may have a chance seeing as I got an 83 on my hands on. I don't care for an A or a B in this class. That's bad for me and my standards, I know but as of right now, I’d just be happy with a C. So hopefully I call pull one off.
More later. It's Test review day and I need to get to my next class in 10 mins or so. ^_^ Mata ne!
|
|
| ~ Shaken But Not Stirred ~ |
[Monday
October 16th, 2006 at 9:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
I guess it's a little weird of me to wake at 7 in the morning, notice my house shaking, roll over and go back to sleep. Heh, cuz that's what happened this morning. We had not only one but three earthquakes today. I'm used to earthquakes seeing as we got a lot of them back when I was living in Japan. So yeah...Lots of people called, checking on how I was which made me feel loved. I'm okay everyone. No worries.
*hugs Shae* Happy thoughts! I miss you too!!
>_> Meh...Tired again. I had some rants and stories to tell but I find myself tired again. Aaaaand I have school. >_> Meh school.
|
|
| ~ Teaser ~ |
[Friday
October 13th, 2006 at 11:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nauseated |
] |
Well, I'm back from my mini vacation and what a vacation it's been. Lots of stories. Lots of memories. Oho and I've got tons of stories to tell! I'll be sure to give you guys the cliff notes when I don't feel so sick and woozy. I'm still adjusting from going from a high up, dry, thin air, cold climate back to Hawaii's basics. >_> And what sucks even more is that I have to work tomorrow >_> At least it's at 1PM. And on Sunday I'm not till 5PM but god damn it I should have also asked for the day after I got back off. I mean Dramamine can only help you so much huh?
Well till next time!
|
|
| ~ Grey ~ |
[Monday
October 2nd, 2006 at 12:35am] |
It's just one of those days....weeks....months.... lifetimes...
Okay. So I'm the Queen of Emo. Fuck you. Emo is short for what? Emotion or even emotional. And those who know me well enough know that though I try my hardest to be a being of logic, I fall to my emotions and live by them. Guess that's a flaw that'll get me hurt or killed one day. I guess.
All I know is that I NEED this vacation. I feel guilty though. I should be more excited in seeing one of my best friends more than just being able to leave all my stress and responsibilities behind.
Things as of late just haven't been going well. I mean it's really has to have been a shitty year if you've tried to off yourself 3 or more times right? Don't anyone get their feathers ruffled, 'tried'. I have never reached the point of where I have been completely able and without guilt been able to take that one step off my bed. That one thrust into my torso.
Bu we've all heard this tune before... we've all begun to lose interest in the song. In it's lyrics. The same old cries about an unwanted major, uncertainties in self, in trust in ones self. It's old. But it's still hurting me. The song's stuck on repeat.
I'm almost packed. Perhaps I can run away completely. I've stuck it out for this long, perhaps that's as far as I can push myself.
I quit the WoW guild I was a part of. No sense in being in a guild where I cannot do much to benefit them. I'm thinking of quitting WoW completely. Well once I hit 60 which should take me two 8 hour days. I barely see a point anymore to playing. I got the game to be with someone. To run along side of them when I couldn't be with them in person. That even then we could see each other...but not anymore. It seems I would only have access to them after long 5+ hour guild runs. To which I felt guilty afterwards for even asking them to run things with me after they've been thru hours of stress and concentration. And being low level made it worse. I can't level fast. I have very few hours with which to do so. And because of WoW my grades have suffered too. I have become so keen into reaching this level so that I can do things along side of him, only to find that even if I did, I wouldn't really get to run with him anyway. My inexperience and lack of understanding for my class puts him and the others at risk for wipes and repair bills. So all in all, no point to it.
He has a responsibility to this guild. He may as well be an officer with how much is placed upon him. And I have to let him do this. He has to be there for them. He is needed by them. As much as it pains me. But with how I am, the type of person I was raised to be, I will not say anything against it though it pains me. Though sometimes I find myself cursing, and I find myself crying, I will not say anything. The needs of the many always outweigh the needs of the few. My tears are worthless. He is willing to drop it all at the drop of hat, but he shouldn't need to. It's something he enjoys, who am I to ask him to give that up? Especially now?
*sigh* I believe what I want to believe. I believe a lot in the traditional Christian/Catholic but just some things I have a hard time understanding, but to be honest, that's between me and God. If I don't get his words, understand his meaning, I see no point in talking to anyone else about it. What they say is their own interpretation or the interpretations of those they were taught by. Trying to understand God's words, ways and all should be up to one person. Me.
Guess I'm just lost in my own thoughts.
Black and White.
Atheist and Devout
Liberal and Conservative.
I'm sorry but I live and breathe in a world that I see in shades of grey.
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| ~ Fume ~ |
[Monday
September 18th, 2006 at 8:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 infuriated |
] |
Stress. It seems to be like a sickness that's been going around my friends and I. And I'm still experiencing the symptoms.
( NEX Chapter 1: Parents & Children )
>_<******************
( NEX Chapter 2: Halloween Headquarters )
RAWR.
So yeah. And that's just a rant about people. Now onto the fun that is the walkthru.
( NEX Chapter 3: Walkthru & Scanner BS )
So that's half of my work. The Hot Topic half is slightly better. Mainly because I don't work there as often. And when I do it's usually less stressful. I only get exhausted because I'd end up doing a lot of physical stuffs. I don't think I mentioned the night of 1000 FUCKS! yet. I closed with Ikaika one night and it just seemed that we had the worst luck. We had so much shit in the back to get done. Clear space for the 19 boxes of shipment coming in the next day. Most of the boxes that needed to be cleared were shoes which are a)Heavy as fuck and b) Bulky as fuck. The boxed that hold them are just shy of being as wide as the tiny fucking hallway we have in the back. So I had to drag and lift those out of the way. Getting box burns on my arms and having the corner of one I was trying to get down hit me in the forehead hard enough to see stars for a second. But yeah, fun night.
I wonder how everyone is. On Friday Brent was there to oversee the progress and such. And then Sunday they had to do a floor move. Hopefully that went well.
>_> The NEX needs to get their fucking seasonals working already. >_> This is bull.
So yeah. That covers work. How's school going? Well just dandy. Still in a major that gives me no real joy whatsoever. I think the people are what really get me through my day. Just how my neighbors are nice to me and try to help. So yeah.
So I guess that's a lot of anger raging through me right now. Atop worry and concern for other matters which I won't go into. And insecurities up the ass. Enough to warrant a fucking sob session one night. Emotions fucking suck. Losing control of them sucks even more. Just ugh... Fuckin' A.
And then yesterday I get called by one of my co-workers asking if I can come in at 1. Hm... It get out of class at 11:50, if I'm lucky manage to catch a bus at 12:30, get to Pearlridge in hopes of catching the 1:00 bus to my house. Yeah, that'll work. Apparently tomorrow people were scheduled 8-4:30, 10-6:30 and 5-9:30. I couldn't understand half of what she said, whether or not she had to leave her 10-6:30 shift early but she asked me to come in ealier, that I'd be getting the hours and that it wouldn't be busy. It's a Monday. The opener can handle shit, and if they can't they need to get another god damn job. If they can't somehow manage a Monday morning, their fucking stupid. And oh no. The dept would be unguarded for 30 minutes! OH THE HORROR!!!!!
I swear. The fucking logic of some things just amaze me.
Fucking ridiculous.
|
|
| ~ Stress: Mio's Natural Enemy ~ |
[Monday
September 11th, 2006 at 10:59am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
Well the past few days have certainly been award winners. >_> Well a crazy and stressful weekend for one. I went to go see Crank with Dan on Saturday. Not a bad movie. I liked it. Sunday was fun. I had work and turns out all the moving around I had done on Saturday needed to be REdone. I had to consolidate an aisle that was already overflowing with toys in order to make room for even more. >_> Meh!!!
This month's scheduling is insane. Last year around this time we had at least 5 people at a time on the sales floor! And what do we have now? Three. One morning, one mid and one closer. I can understand having one closer because the store dies down around 7. People go home. Get ready for work and school. But one midshift is crazy. We had sooooo much stuff to do that at one point I just broke down crying. Luckily I had Alan and Julia with me. I couldn't have asked for a better pair of co-workers. Myuu.
So besides work stressing me, school of course is a killer. It's still hard for me to wrap my head around most of this stuff. But it's something I HAVE to succeed in. I feel not only to shut my mother up and leave me be but to show that girls can do this (seeing as our female population in this program is lacking...)
And then of course, money. It's not coming in fast enough. A few unexpected expenses have put me back in the $5 left in savings range again >_>. I just began to stress about how I would get the money to Shae for my ticket. I didn't care if I had to strip for it. I WILL go to Colorado and see one of the greatest friends I've ever had! So I was dreading asking my parents for a loan and pay them back when my next NEX and Hot Topic checks rolled around. Last thing I need is more fodder to the I'm-Gonna-Hold-This-Over-Your-Head fire >_>.
Thank god for big brothers...
But I still feel horrible! I mean it's money he's been waiting on for so long and here I pop in asking for some help. >_>
And then I got some news that came outta left field. O_o
And starting today and probably till the beginning of October, I'm gonna be on a diet and go to the gym.
Goodie.
|
|
| ~ Overbearing Overpasses ~ |
[Wednesday
September 6th, 2006 at 8:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
So yeah. I didn't get home till around 8PM last night. No big deal right? Well kinda. Considering I had been waiting for my bus to take me home since 5:30. Turns out some genius thought he could fit underneath a pedestrian walkway with a crane.
Not so much. He ended up hitting it and the Dept. of Transportation had to close down and divert traffic away from the site in case it crumbled and fell any more. Now this wouldn't be so bad if the walkway wasn't over H1. So yeah. Traffic. HOURS UPON HOURS of traffic. I mean even when I caught my bus around 8 I could still see traffic backed up all the way from Pearlridge to Salt Lake Blvd and even further.
So yeah. I should be in class right now but I'm not. Oooh. Don't really care this month. Not really in the "I Love My Major" mood this month. I need to go to my next class though >_> Stupid labs. We're finally gonna be doing something besides hear the guy lecture. So we needed to get out multimeters. I had Dan come along when I got mine. He kept on insisting I get a certain type but the prof. already said not to get that. So I went with a cheapy Sears craftsman multimeter. Yay....
So yeah. Not much else to really say except it's amazing how much we depend on highways.
And oh yeah! New layout which is teh awesome by eerie_feelings. Woot.
|
|
| ~ Funny Places I Can Fit ~ |
[Monday
September 4th, 2006 at 10:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 discontent |
] |
So yeah. Happy Labor Day I guess. Had to work which kinda depleats the purpose of this holiday but whatever. I should be getting time and a half. Keywords "should be"
Woke up to my Dad chopping the hell out of the tree outside my window. Apparently Mom wants it looking like a diseased shrub. So yeah. Had to help sweep all the leaves and yank weeds out of the driveway. Fun.
Played WoW. Trying to hit 60 is a pain in the ass. I'm half tempted to just /gquit and delete the game off my comps. Meh.
Worked my usual shift. Just missed seeing Alan. >_> Sucks. Haven't worked with him in so long. Mom made the observation that he and I made a good couple. I thought so too but he's just not my type. And I don't think I'm much of his either. I think he needs more of the soft spoken, innocent, stylish girls. All qualities I seem to lack in spades. So yeah. Oh well. Perhaps another lifetime.
Closed with Blessing and Fran. Things got quiet once 7:30 rolled around since everyone is back to school and work tomorrow. I love closing with Blessing. Never a dull moment. Like tonight. He came up to me asking what type of golf bag was the one leaning against the endcap of golf balls. I showed him that it was one of the displays of the boxed travel ones. And while we spoke it continued to lean so slowly until it finally just fell over. We both just stared at it.
Blessing: So you hungry? LOL. That would have been funny if we had that conversation and that was a dead body.
Me: Well from the looks of it, you could probably fit a dead body or even a guitar in there.
Blessing: Hey! Let's see. Get in.
To which I proceeded to do and as it turns out. I can fit in there and be fully zipped up. He ended up taking a pic of me poking my head out with his camera phone. Some guys passed by and looked at me as if I were crazy. Meh.
Well crazy and boring according to some customers. Tina and I were ranting to each other about how strict out parents can be when I started saying "You'd think my parents would be a lil proud, happy or more trusting of me. I mean I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs..." to which a passing guy snickered to himself. Tina just stated laughing. All I could say was "Wow. I must be the most bland person on earth after hearing all that huh?!"
Later the guy showed up in my aisle with the greeting "Hi there Miss Boring Girl" >_<*
Maybe I am boring. Maybe I play by the rules a little too much. Maybe I'm not a risk taker.
So why be with me huh? Why be with someone who doesn't even like being with herself?
Oh well. I guess that's insanity for you.
|
|
| ~ A Tigress Changes Her Stripes ~ |
[Saturday
September 2nd, 2006 at 10:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
irate |
] |
So yeah. I decided to try and bleach my bangs. I wanted to have two white streaks but bleach doesn't work too well for the dark brown hair. >_> but at least they're bleached golden. So they don't look too bad. Got a lot of compliments at work for them.
Work was work. A usual busy Saturday night of business. The dept completely trashed. Ah, the comforts of the NEX.
CJ stopped by. So I got to say hi to him. Turns out he quit so that was the reason why hadn't seen him in so long. Also explains why I haven't been lightsaber fighting with someone in so long. So now he's working full time as a Vet Tech. Eh. It seems to suit him more. I think Blessing was jealous of me though. CJ kinda flashed me his stomach to show his sunburn after saying he spent too long at the beach. It was BAD. I mean a lobster would cry to see him.
I ended up bruising my hip today which made Blessing laugh. I was ringing up a guy and he was paying with a card so I hit the 'credit card' key and he proceeded to swipe his card in the lil machine we have to the side. I listening to what Blessing and Bennett were talking about and next thing I knew...WHAP!!! The drawer popped out and hit me in the hip. >_> Blessing couldn't stop laughing. "I'm sorry! You were just non chalant looking off and then whack!". T_T;;; rawr. The guy apologized. Apparently he selected the cash back feature. Rawr.
Blessing invited me to join him, Tina, Ray and Elijah to catch a flick tonight but I knew I couldn't. Too much short notice for my Mom *sigh*.
"So what are you gonna do tonight then? Sit around at home and just sit at your computer like always?"
*sigh* Pretty much Blessing. Pretty much.
I think I'm the saddest excuse for a 20 year old to exist in a long while. I'm already scared of how fast my teen years have seemed to have gone by. I actually want to go back to being a teen but then again, I want to start enjoying this decade of life. But it doesn't look like I'll be doing much of that.
I have too many responsibilities that take the place of time that I want to spend doing things to make my life a lil more exciting and less stressful...
I mean work and school come front and center and whatever time I have left I try to devote to my friends. I always have my family at home so they can't say I don't spend time with them. And to be honest, we're not the most emotionally connected family. At least I don't think so. We never really express our feelings to one another. The only one that seems to show is anger.
That's why I'm glad I'm a closer and Mom's an opener at work. Since that schedule's been put in place we get into less fights. Mainly because we don't see each other as much. This sounds horrible probably, I know but it's true.
*sigh* Anyway, it just seems like life is just passing me by. I want to go out. I want to have fun but I'm tied down by too many things and restrictions. >_> After a while, I've given up on even asking for the chance to go out. You get tired and hurt after hearing no so many times for just trying to get out and relieve stress.
I mean even tonight Mom was questioning my going to see Shae!
Mom: So you still gonna go there without telling me?
Me: I told you. I told you how many months ago.
Mom: Why you wanna go all the way out there?
Me: To see Shae and go to the anime convention with Shae.
Mom: You didn't get enough of going to that here? (Kawaii Kon)
Me: I'm going to see one of my best friends!!!
Mom: *snort* You have the money to spend on that kind of thing?
Me: *walks off* I will.
Amazing. She wants me to keep in touch with friends yet when one wants me to visit god forbid I actually go and do it!
I almost want to make it a one way ticket. It'd be cheaper. Right now I'm looking at $574.
But yeah, a one way plane ticket. Find a job there. Get a transfer or something so I don't flunk out the classes.
And speaking of those classes. I can understand my parents getting annoyed with me when I bitch about how much my classes suck and how I hate what I'm doing IF THEY PAID FOR THEM. I paid for these fucking classes with the money I earned from my two fucking jobs. Some of you may think "well why didn't you let them pay for them?" And what? Give more fodder to the Things Mom Can Hold Over Me Forever fire? No fucking thank you.
Normally I'd cuddle with my fave soft, cool pink blanket to make me feel better..oho wait. I can't. Mom went into my room and threw that away without even consulting with me. *shrug* Oh well.
*sigh* Fuck this lifestyle. I'm done.
|
|
| ~ Guess It Pays To Be A Chick ~ |
[Thursday
August 31st, 2006 at 3:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
Yeah. So classes have been...well classes. And work has been work. Oh the fun. Well at least today was a change of pace.
We got to do a hands on lab in my Cisco Systems class. We had to take out the system unit, inspect its components, identify the NIC card and then put it all back together and make sure that it worked.
Okay. First off, I got a computer that couldn't connect to the internet and looking at where I was plugging in my ethernet cord, I could see why, the damn thing was falling apart. but anyhoo, two guys helped me try to figure out my comp. When they couldn't find out what was wrong they took me under their wing and let me join their group. Alan and Ramone. Fairly nice guys. From there we finished the lab and were trying to put the case back on the unit.
....yeah that went well. First out NIC slot was crooked, so we couldn't fit out ethernet cable in. Then when we tried to get it back off the unit we ended up getting the case caught on cords and tore one of them O_O!
Thank god these were POS comps that were on their way out. *sigh of relief* But jeez. I couldn't stop laughing at how bad our luck was.
And then our professor approached me with paperwork and told me that I was entitled to grant money.
Why?
Because I have boobs.
In other words, I'm one of the few girls enrolled in the program. I guess all the other gals are either in Cosmotology or Communication Arts. Hm.
So yeah. The school's trying to get us $1800 for all of us to share and use for the tools needed for our classes. So yeah. Yay for being a girl.
Heh. My sarcasm was on in full force last night. We had to attend classes to inform us on how to use the new wireless system we'll have installed for out stock and warehouse items. And these guys....well the one guy that spoke the most was just sooooo damn cheesy. I was already annoyed with the fact that these people felt they had to stand SOOOOOO close to us while we were doing the hands on examples. >_> Personal bubble much? At least I had Tina to sit next to and chat with. And we both squeed over the new guy next to us. God we're such dorks. But yeah, the main guy kept asking us silly questions and making corny comments and I just had to add my own I guess.
My gun during the example started to act funky so he turns to me and says "Oh, well we'll just have to get your employee number so that we can take it out of your paycheck". To which I just scoffed and said "What paycheck?".
Don't think that was a good idea. Turns out some of the ladies from payroll and some of the stores higher ups were there and heard me. Luckily Bennett was there with me too and he just silently nodded to them and mouthed "She's right you know".
So yeah....
........I want udon noodle dammit. *wanders off*
|
|
| ~ First Day Soders ~ |
[Monday
August 21st, 2006 at 5:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
worried |
] |
Well this past week has certainly been fun...yeah.
Saturday Daniel came over and was able to set up my wireless router! WOOT! So now I have internet on my lappy again. But I'll still use the desktop for intensive uses. Like WoW or anything with heavy HEAVY graphics and the like.
Sunday I had to work, which sucked because I would have school the next morning. But I at least closed with Julia and Alan, so I was in good company. And while walking to work I got to chat with Chris which was nice. He got to see France and such. So it was good to hear he was doing alright.
I got up around 5:30 this morning so I could shower and dress and be out the door by 6:30 so I could catch my buses. Didn't really get that much sleep. I guess a touch of sleeplessness with anxiety about school.
So I had my first class at 8 and that was CENT 130, Introduction to Operating Systems. The teacher seems nice enough and the material seems like something I can wrap my brain around. I'm gonna be learning about and how to use Windows XP, Mac OS X, Linux, MS-DOS, etc. So yeah fun. And out of the 20 in the class, there are only 2 girls. Yay...
My next class.....well kinda scares me. Why? Well let's just say this girl is gonna get her hands on some sodering equipment and knowing my luck will somehow manage to burn the school down. >_>
lol Yep. I'm taking CENT 112 which is Fundamentals of Electronics. And the supply list says I'll be needing a sodering iron, soder, and a whole bunch of tools. Heh heh. Mio + Electrical Equipment = A whole lotta fun.
But the teacher really loves his subject and knows his stuff and is amusing enough so I think I'll be okay. Daniel says I'll be getting an A for the class. For the fact that this is stuff that he is trained in. And I mean borderline NASA certified in what I'll be studying. So yeah....Yay Sodering!
lol Soder. That's funny to say and type.
Ooh. Soon I'll be able to say the phrase "don't make me burn your eyes out with a sodering iron" and actually be able to do it!!!!
And again I'm one of the only two girls in the class! WTF?!
Meh. My guess is that CENT's population is going to be majority guys whereas the CA's population in going to me majority girls.
But yeah. I wanted to head out after class but the parents called me to have lunch with them. They're downtown for the next couple of days for Mom's birthday. Dad got a hotel room at the Hale Koa for them. So I have a few days to myself. It's not much but hey, it's something.
So yeah. Had to take the bus down to where they were which was the Cheesecake Factory. Had a nice calamari lunch and cheesecake. Well got Dan cheesecake because I already has a slice at home and I wanted to get him a 'thank-you' gift for helping get our wireless router up and running.
Walked back to the Hale Koa with the folks. On the way back though Mom led me to a nice lil boutique that had all these really cool and cute fashion tops and accessories. And everything in the store was $10. So I grabbed a cute tee, tank and necklace. I'm soooo going back to that shoppe. I put myself on their mailing list and they'll notify me when they finish getting their website up. Woot. Turns out that was Mom's peace offering for throwing away my blanket.
Yes. She threw a way my blanket. My soft, cool, pink blanket. Granted it had a huge hole in the center but it was something that could have been sewed up. That blanket helped me through many a night of tears and heartache. Angst and anguish. In other words, it was a security blanket.
"You're almost 21. You don't need something as silly as a security blanket".
Perhaps. But still. It was something of MINE that held value to ME and was in MY room.
So......one should be able to understand why I was angry with her in throwing it away. I wanted to dig it out of the trash but I decided not to. I'll just have to find the next perfect blanket. >_>
So yeah....
I have one class tomorrow. Wonder what it's gonna be like...
*rolls around and sighs*
Myuu~
|
|
| ~ Congrats Godmommy! ~ |
[Tuesday
August 15th, 2006 at 10:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
Well...let's see what's to be had in the endless madness that is my life...
School starts back up in less than a week. I'm waiting till Thursday to buy my books because by then I'll have been paid. Yay money. Well I won't see too much of it. I need to buy $180+ worth of books, $100 for Mom's B-Day and $100 for my godchild's baptismal.
Yeah...apparently I'm a godmother. Who knew? Well as it turns out to TWO kids. My cousin Anna's daughter Martina and my cousin Brian's child. I doubt it'll ever come to the point of me having to be their godparent. I mean we have SO much family over there that naming me a godparent just seems weird. An honor, but weird nevertheless.
So yeah.
Work is work. Same old. Same old. Stupid people need to die in fires. Yay.
*sigh* I dunno. Feels like I'm starting to get into a funk again. Maybe because my summer vacation wasn't what it normally was. I don't know.
Meh. Ramble ramble.
|
|
| ~ Trickles Of Blood ~ |
[Sunday
August 6th, 2006 at 8:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
So the days have been...well trying and just tiring to say the least. This season just seems to be the most stressful of my life so far. >_>
And today was no exception. Already I was tired and groggy from last night and I had to work a midshift. A closer working a midshift is just wrong. I get there and feel a bit better after I saw who opened in my dept. JULIA! I love Julia. I'm her adopted daughter. So I thought the morning wouldn't be so bad. I was already freaked that Steve was walking the floor and even more freaked when I heard he was the duty manager for the morning. But with Julia by my side I'd feel comfortable. She shares my feelings towards Steve yet takes a more aggressive stance.
But it turns out she was going to go home early. She was burned and I mean lobster burned. Aaaand with her gone it left me alone till 1. And the dept was madness. Alan too was alone and I would be jumping back in to Sporting Goods to help him. >_> You think Sunday would make customers a bit more on the nice side but not so much. I didn't get to take my first break till one. And by then I was already feeling exhausted and broken.
Alan tried his best to cheer me up with hugs, tickles and jokes. Heh. That's my brother for you.
Adam ended my shift on a rather hurt note.
I was tidying my lego aisle when he came in and started telling me how hot he thought it was for a hot guy to be buying KY and condoms. Right after he got that sentence out, the most well timed and odd sounding fart came from him. His reaction and face was priceless. As was the reaction of the girl in the aisle with us. I couldn’t help but crack up laughing. So did he. He kneeled down laughing and I almost walked into him. I tiptoed and leaned forward to keep my balance AT THE EXACT MOMENT he rose up. So he ended up head butting me in the nose hard enough to make me cry and cause something to drip down my throat.
The twinging's stopped. I just hope it doesn't bruise. *sigh*
......
*sigh* I haven't been in contact with many of my friends. I feel horrible about that. It's just...well, I try to keep my problems to myself. When they first start, up until the breaking point. Why? Who knows? Perhaps I've subliminally have taken a page from my father's book of behavior. Keeping everything like that inside. And perhaps pride and determination are to blame as well. I feel that if I can't figure something out myself, what good am I? I'm useless. Perhaps years of an academic mindfuck from a certain patriarch can explain that.
So what does that mean?
I keep my hurts, worries and pains to myself, inside up till the breaking point because they are matters that I should be able to solve myself and not burden to others.
......
The future. Normally when you are young, you look forward to the future. What you wanted to be. Where you wanted to go. When I was a kid I didn't really believe in that as much as I should have. After a while I gave up looking to the future. All it did was lead me into disappointments and later depressions. So when people start telling me about the future, their future, my future, the roles we'll play with one another.....it just depresses me to no end. I see the disappointments ahead whether they be mine or worse, theirs. That is why I find comfort in the present and sadly in the past as well. I am a creature of habit and have a hard time letting go of the past.
Another thing that gets me feeling uneasy are certain popular subjects of conversation. Those who know me well and grew up with me know how I feel about getting into conversations about politics and religion. I hate them. Deep down I hate them. Why? Why do I hate conversations that my loved ones seem to have a passion for? I just do. All it does is remind me of the awkwardness it can cause others. My views, my beliefs are my own. My true, soulful beliefs are between me and God. I will not share them with anyone. Please do not take offense but that's just how I feel. It's a private matter between me and my maker. I see no need in having to express that to anyone but Him. Deep down I worship Him and love Him in my own way and I'm sure He understands. I'm not open about it. I don't make it known. But just because I don't doesn't mean I don't do it. As for politics, I'm conservative to a fault I suppose. I'm all for tradition and everything but sometimes it should just come down to loving your fellow man no matter what race, religion, party, orientation, etc.
I guess I'm just a freak deep down. A one of a kind, messed up girl who fears the future, finds comfort in the past and now, tries to do everything herself, and not find herself being a burden to anyone.
Not exactly an easy war to wage.
I'm someone who cries inside when she sees others being with the people they love. Carefree. Innocent. Oblivious. Naive.
One who cries to find a release from the stress but just gets pushed back down with more responsibilities she's too proud or scared to shrug away.
One who pains herself in keeping her faith alive in a seemingly never-ending sea of disappointments,
I'm still that lost, little girl, crying for Mommy's approval and feels she'll never genuinely have it, no matter what she does.
One who just wishes she could catch a break and be able to breathe again.
God...I miss breathing....
|
|
| ~ It's Getting There...August ~ |
[Saturday
July 29th, 2006 at 1:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
Wow. It's certainly been a bit since I've updated. O_o
But then again it's the same old stuffs going on I suppose. Work still consumes me >_>. Meh... at least I'll be starting up school soon. Then my hours will be more kind. They'll actually give me free time to do fun stuff!!!
...I mean homework...yeah..homework.
Not really looing forward to taking three CENT classes. *unenthusiastic* Hooray CENT....
Hm...I need to start buying my books. Hm.. I'll wait a bit more for early August.
Speaking of August, I'm going back on my strict diet and exercise routine. I've allowed too much to get in the way between me and reaching 115. So yeah.
At least today was fun. I got to hang out with Dan at the mall. We had a good breakfast and Denny's and strolled around the mall afterwards. I stopped into Hot Topic and got my paycheck and ended up getting a new halter top since today was 50% off for employees instead of our usual 40%. *clings* Arigatou Daniel Kun! It's cool! I'll need to take pics!
Stopped into Game Stop so Dan could bring Elcy back from the sidelines. Yay! Elcy lives again....for another 60 days. LOL.
Went into Michael's and found that I fit a 4 3/4-5 for rings. Huh. Last time I fitted for a ring was in my senior year of high school and that was for class rings. I was a 6 I believe....so I wonder how that works? O_o ANYHOO, much shinys in that store. VERY pretty shinys! XD
Browsed Circuit City where Dan picked up a fuck-off keyboard. The thing is....shiny. I mean it's got sooo much more than your basic keys and even a mini screen for like Counterstrike and such O_o.
And they had taaaaaaaablets. The UBER shiny. *thwaps* But I'm still grr/aww to a certain someone concerning Wacom tablets. You know who you are. T_T
And yay Toys N Joys as a last stop. Or as the salesguy now calls it 'Guns N Joys' since they now sell knives, air guns and the like. The salesguy showed me throwing cards. I WANT A SET! They amused me greatly. They are sharp, thin, steel set of aces that you can throw. Light them with sparklies and you've got Gambit!!!! XD
So yeah...sucks that I had to go to work. I wanted to hang out more and go see a movie too! I've been itching to go see one!!! >_<
So yeah work was work. Frickin Soulsucker needs to stop hovering over our depts. It's annoying. Soulsucker = My manager's manager. When I see my manager smile I get this genuine, warm feeling of security whereas if the other guy smiles, it feels like he's going to suck my soul out and sell me a used car. >_>
But at least I had Julia there tonight! WOOT! I heart Julia. She is teh awesome.
She doesn't think that because she's worked in Sporting Goods that she knows everything there is to know about Toys as well and thinks I don't do work. ^_^ *twitch*
Yeah...I never do work. I come home every night with my lower back and feet screaming at me and pretty much just wanting to cry from the exhaustion for nothing. That stuff just flares up on me from doing nothing. Sure. Okay. Fine.
*sigh*
.....my iDog....my BRAND NEW 1 DAY OLD IDOG won't work.
Fucking non-working iDog. Play my music so I can hear it while speaking on Vent and running quests! T_T
And oh yeah. My phone decided today to pull a "I'm just gonna die on you and make you think that you're low on battery when in fact I just can't register your battery and you can't charge me when I'm in that mood so now you can't get calls from your paranoid to the tenth degree mother nor call your friends whom you are going to meet" thing today.
Silly phone. Die in a fire.
Wait...lemme write down all my contact numbers for back-up. Then you can die in a fire ^_^.
So yeah. Hope you all are well. *huggles and kisses to you all that would appropriately fit them*
...I need a new LJ layout >_>
|
|
| ~ Flats ~ |
[Tuesday
July 11th, 2006 at 11:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
Well today had its moments...
I stopped by the Chateau to see how Dan was doing today since it marks a very not so happy day for him. I stayed behind a bit since I wouldn't really be missed at work (Hot Topic). I called and said I;d be coming in a bit later. I asked Matt for a ride and just as we're almost free of the highway, what happens? We blew a tire.
That was actually kinda funny.
So yeah...work was work. Just me and Rhonda. Yay fun. With still bits of the store on the floor. >_> Hopefully we can get it all fixed by Thurday for when Brent comes in. >_>
Aaaand this Friday my tuition is due. Dad's gonna help me pay the difference so here's hoping it's a small difference.
|
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|
[Friday
July 7th, 2006 at 10:29pm] |
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PIRATES!!!!!!!!!!!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE......
Yeah....I'm nowhere near to being done.
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